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Jennifer Diley
Jennifer Diley, The Last American Idol
Think long and hard and try to remember the time when American Idol was something relevant. There were two exact moments when FOX’s reality show mattered – the first being the inaugural season. The States has never seen anything like it and looking back, it’s silly to think Kelly and Justin (hahahahahahaahahaahaahahaa, remember this dude?) captured the attention of millions and millions of viewers. Clay and Ruben… yeah, whatever. With each passing season, less fucks were given as Fox trotted American Idol seemingly every week, combined with a drastic drop in the music industry, a reality show based on making music stars mattered less. The second and last time American Idol mattered was 2012. The only reason myself and anyone with half an ounce of taste watched was because the show aired immediately after the Super Bowl, and Fox being the geniuses that they are made sure to tease what has become an idol to men – Jennifer Diley. Promos promised a train wreck audition featuring a girl as inappropriately dressed to make an impression with your singing voice as possible, but more than capable of having every man google her to death, while every woman calls her a slut or whore or slutwhore or slore for short.
I remember posting a GIF of Jennifer Diley on my Tumblr page and holy shit! it went viral. [Shout out to Gemini for making it in the first place! QUAID For Life {Insider Joke}]. She was the star of American Idol despite not making the cut [haters!], but never maximize the opportunity. She never dropped a mixtape. Never did Playboy [or Maxim or any lad mags]. She didn’t have a sextape. Either she wanted to be a civilian or legitimately pursued a real singing career. Damn shame. Hot chicks should look at college basketball players as role models – as soon as you have that one big moment, take advantage and go for the money. Go pro. Forget vetenariary school. Forgot singing. Forget college all together. Quit your job. Just take pictures and shoot video as sexy as you can be. The checks will come. The men will come. The opportunity will come. A career and real livelihood may not, but fuck it, wouldn’t you rather shine bright and fade away or never shine at all. Just ask Jennifer Diley right now if she would rather be on the cover of a magazine or sing covers at the local bar by her house? Exactly. Hey Jennifer! You can sing for us anytime. We’ll listen… as long as we get to pick the outfits you sing in.
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Can’t forget the GIF. #NeverForget
